Adulting is a Scam? Navigating Life After School in Africa

“Just finish school, get a good job, marry, and everything will be fine.”

That was the promise.
The golden formula.
The dream handed down from parents, teachers, and even religious leaders.

And so, we worked hard. We sat in crowded lecture halls. We passed exams. Some of us even graduated with distinctions. We were ready or so we thought.

But no one prepared us for what came after.

No one prepared us for the mental spiral that followed NYSC.
For the silence that greeted our CVs in flooded inboxes.
For the “we’ll get back to you” interviews that never called.
Or for scrolling social media and seeing friends “making it” in countries we can’t pronounce.

We wake up one morning and realise: “This is the adulthood they were talking about?”

Suddenly, we’re responsible for everything; food, rent, bills, family expectations, and our own happiness. There’s no manual. Just vibes, trial and error, and survival instincts.

So, is adulting a scam?

Maybe not a scam. But definitely a ride no one truly warned us about.

The Unspoken Realities

Let’s break it down because sugarcoating it won’t help.

1. Financial Pressure is Real

Even if you get a job, the salary often feels like a placeholder barely enough to survive, let alone thrive. If you’re the firstborn or a “hope of the family,” you’re juggling personal bills with responsibilities no one else sees. And somehow, you’re also expected to save, invest, and build wealth.

2. Mental Health Battles

Many African youths suffer from burnout, anxiety, and depression in silence. We were raised to be “strong,” to never complain. So, we smile in public, cry in private, and sometimes question the point of it all. But this silence is heavy. And it’s breaking many of us.

3. Comparison is Constant

We scroll through perfectly curated feeds and feel like failures. While others are relocating, buying cars, or starting businesses, we’re still stuck in traffic, wondering how to afford fuel. Social media doesn’t show the full picture, but our minds compare anyway, and it eats away at our confidence.

4. Confused Purpose

What do you really want to do?
Are you where you want to be?
Are you wasting your time?

These questions are loud in your head at 2am, even when you’re tired. You may have studied engineering but want to act. You may be good at writing but stuck in a bank. The career confusion is real, and the pressure to “figure it out fast” is suffocating.

The Turning Point: You’re Not Alone

Here’s what I’ve come to realise:

We are all figuring it out. Even those who seem ahead.

Nobody’s life is as perfect as it looks.
That girl with the big tech job? She may be battling loneliness.
That guy with the G-Wagon? He may be drowning in debt.
That friend abroad? They miss home more than they show.

Life after school isn’t linear.
Some bloom early. Some later.
Some find their path immediately. Others build theirs slowly, in tears and detours.

And that’s okay.

So What Can You Do?

1. Give Yourself Grace
You’re doing your best in an unpredictable world. Be kind to yourself. Rest. Cry if you must. But never give up.

2. Redefine Success
It’s not just money or marriage. Success could be learning a new skill, healing from trauma, showing up consistently, or starting a side hustle.

3. Stay Curious
The world is changing. Learn what you can. Read, ask questions, attend workshops, intern, volunteer. Every skill counts, even the ones that don’t show up on a certificate.

4. Build a Community
You don’t have to go through this alone. Talk to someone. Join youth groups, online forums, or mentorship programs. You’ll find people on the same journey.

5. Stop the Comparison Game
Everyone has their own timing. Your story is not too slow. Trust your process. Water your lane.

In the End…

Adulting may not be the “freedom” we once imagined, but it’s a phase of deep becoming.

You’re learning.
You’re growing.
You’re becoming more of who you’re meant to be.

You’re not behind. You’re simply in process.

So, keep moving. Even if it’s with shaky legs and tired eyes.
One day, this struggle will be your story. Your testimony.
And you’ll look back and smile, knowing you didn’t quit.

Not because it was easy, but because you were determined to live.